sms of jokes in hindi: 2013

Sunday, 1 September 2013

Free Hindi Sms Jokes Free Sms Of Jokes In Hindi

Free Hindi Sms Jokes Biography

source (google.com.pk)
It is Mr. Christ's understanding that you are planning to write and
publish a biography of him in the near future. Such a biography would, he
is sure you would realise, be entirely unauthorised and if it were published
in the form you suggest he would be forced to take the matter up with the
highest authority.
However he can fully understand your wish to write about his life
and will sanction such a project a number of conditions:
That the title of the book be 'The Holy Bible' and not as you
propose, 'Hot and Salty - Our Sexy Savior's Saucy Story'.
That you do not mention the name of his natural Father (Elvin
Roxenby-Toke) who, for legal reasons, contests paternity. He suggest you
utilise the 'virgin birth' scenario. Mr. Christ realises that this is
entirely ludicrous but suggests that no-one ever went bust underestimating
the credibility of the average religious zealot.
That all references to the incident involving the members of
members of the Bethlehem Boys Club, olive oil and a wooden spoon to be
exised forthwith.
That the death scene to be 'pepped up' as it were. The actual
circumstances that you mention are simply not dramatic enough. An
accident with a wine jar and a stray fish just does not have the theatrical
impact of say, a crucifixion with the full atmospheric effects of a large
cast.
That the book not to be dedicated, as it is at the moment, to 'My
dearest Wooly-Boo with all my love squiggles.'
That a fictional character, possibly a twelfth disciple, be
introduced to give him away to the authorities. The reality of the case,
that he was shopped by his Mother and done for indecent exposure, should
on no account be discussed.
And the so called 'Parable of the Leather Undergarment' be removed
or at least modified.
As long as these guidelines are followed he can see no reason why
you should not write and publish your proposed biography although he
doesn't see it as a success himself. He informs me that he enjoyed your
previous books, especially 'Murderburger Hell-High' and 'Slutslaughter -
Slashin' the Winded'. Your suggested biography of him appears to be in
the same vein and it is for this reason that he must reject your offer
of a profit sharing scheme in return for his appearing to promote the book.
In any case Mr. Christ is at the moment fully occupied with his

Free Hindi Sms Jokes Free Sms Of Jokes In Hindi

Thursday, 29 August 2013

Telugu Funny Sms Jokes Free Sms Of Jokes In Hindi P

Telugu Funny Sms Jokes Biography

source (google.com.pk)
adj. fun·ni·er, fun·ni·est
1.
a. Causing laughter or amusement.
b. Intended or designed to amuse.
2. Strangely or suspiciously odd; curious.
3. Tricky or deceitful.
n. pl. fun·nies Informal
1. A joke; a witticism.
2. funnies
a. Comic strips.
b. The section of a newspaper containing comic strips.

Arousing or provoking laughter; "an amusing film with a steady stream of pranks and pratfalls"; "an amusing fellow"; "a comic hat"; "a comical look of surprise"; "funny stories that made everybody laugh"; "a very funny writer"; "it would have been laughable if it hadn't hurt so much"; "a mirthful experience"; "risible courtroom antics"

SMS
Short Message Service (SMS) is a text messaging service component of phone, web, or
Mobile communication systems, using standardized communications protocols that allow the exchange of short text messages between fixed line or mobile phone devices.
SMS is the most widely used data application in the world, with 3.6 billion active users, or 78% of all mobile phone subscribers. The term "SMS" is used as an acronym for all types of short text messaging and the user activity itself in many parts of the world. SMS is also employed in direct marketing, known as SMS marketing.
SMS as used on modern handsets originated from radio telegraphy in radio memo pagers using standardized phone protocols. These were defined in 1985 as part of the Global System for Mobile Communications (GSM) series of standards as a means of sending messages of up to 160 characters to and from GSM mobile handsets. Though most SMS messages are mobile-to-mobile text messages, support for the service has expanded to include such other mobile technologies as ANSI CDMA networks and Digital AMPS, as well as satellite and landline networks.

TELUGU
Telugu (తెలుగు telugu, IPA: [t̪el̪uɡu]) is a South-Central Dravidian language predominantly spoken in the South Indian state of Andhra Pradesh where it is an official language. It is also spoken by significant minorities in the states of Chattisgarh, Karnataka, Maharashtra, Odisha, Tamil Nadu, and in Yanam, in the union territory of Puducherry. One of the four classical languages of India, Telugu ranks third by the number of native speakers in India (74 million), thirteenth in the Ethnologue list of most-spoken languages worldwide, and the most spoken Dravidian language. It is one of the twenty-two scheduled languages of the Republic of India
Telugu borrowed several features of Sanskrit that have subsequently been lost in Sanskrit's daughter languages such as Hindi and Bengali, especially in the pronunciation of some vowels and consonants.
The etymology of "Telugu" is not known for certain. It is thought to have been derived from trilinga, as in Trilinga Desa, "the country of the three lingas". According to a Hindu legend, Shiva descended as linga on three mountains namely, Kaleswara, Srisaila and Bhimeswara, which marked the boundaries of the Telugu country.
According to Marepalli Ramachandra Sastry, "Telu" means white and "unga" means plural in Gondi.
The earliest epigraphic record of the Telugu language dates to the late 6th century CE. However, there have been proposals of traces of Telugu recorded before that date. Some Telugu words appear in the Maharashtri Prakrit anthology of poems (the Gatha Saptashati) collected by the 1st century BCE Satavahana King Hāla.
Inscriptions containing Telugu words claimed to "date back to 400 B.C." were discovered in Bhattiprolu in Guntur district. The English translation of one inscription reads: "Gift of the slab by venerable Midikilayakha".
575 AD to 1022 AD: The first inscription that is entirely in Telugu corresponds to the second phase of Telugu history, after the Ikshvaku dynasty period. This inscription, dated 575 AD, was found in the Rayalaseema region and is attributed to the Renati Cholas, who broke with the prevailing custom of using Sanskrit and began writing royal proclamations in the local language. During the next fifty years, Telugu inscriptions appeared in Anantapuram and other neighboring regions.
Telugu was more influenced by Sanskrit and Prakrit during this period, which corresponded to the advent of Telugu literature. This literature was initially found in inscriptions and poetry in the courts of the rulers, and later in written works such as Nannayya's Mahabharatam (1022 AD). During the time of Nannayya, the literary language diverged from the popular language. This was also a period of phonetic changes in the spoken language.
The third phase is marked by further stylization and sophistication of the literary language. Ketana (13th century) in fact prohibited the use of spoken words in poetic works. During this period the separation of Telugu script from the Kannada script took place. Tikkana wrote his works in this script.

[Boy : priya priya hrudhayam pagilela
Preminchana leka
Pagilina hrudhayam tho preminchana
Girl : cheppu thegela kottana leka
Thegina cheppu tho kottana

Bommani giste kukkaindi,
Daggariki velte bow bow andi,
Sarle papam ani Biscuit veste
Adi tarmi tarmi karichindi

Adiyance kosam chiru "Thumps up" taagadu,
Pavan manakosam "Pepsi" taagadu,
Trisha sales kosam "Fanta" taagindhi,
Mana friendship kosam
nuvvu kaneesam "Domex"
ayina taagava...?

SOFTWARE MOVIES comming in future;
1.INTLO JAVA, OFFICE LO BAVA
2."C" VEERUDU, "C++" SUNDHARI
3.NE PASSWORD NAKU THALUSU
4.PROGRAM RADDAM RA
5.KOTHA SOFTWARE LOKAM

Kurro.... Kurru....
Dora ipudu niku oka chakkani
chukka chupista
bagunda dora chukka.....

Funny Urdu Sms Jokes Free Sms Of Jokes In Hindi

Funny Urdu Sms Jokes Biography

source (google.com.pk)
Veeru: BASANTI IN KUTTON KE SAMNE MAT NACHNA,
Basanti: Xcuse me, Who the hell do
u think you are to order me like this,
U stupid guy using abusive language,
u bloody fool hanging in the rusty chain
with so obnoxious smell coming from body,
you keep ur mouth shut, Nonsense,
Hey DJ Gabbar Spin that Shit man..:p :O
Bahadur do tarah k hote he,
pehle nepal wale
aur dusre kadaake ki thand me roz subah nahane wale
Sardar:
Yaar main 2 Mushkiloon mein Phens gaya hoon,
Dost:woh kiya?
Sardar;
Yaar BV Mak up kary to kharcha bardaasht nahi honda
ty
na kary ta BV Bardasht nahi hondi..
Ansuo.n Se Bhale Palkein Bheeg Jati Hain,
Dard Yu.n Dhanwant Bahaya Nahi Karte?.
Zakham Chahe Taza Rakh Le Tu Dilbhar,
Zakhamo.n Ko Bewazah Yaadein Banaya Nahi Karte?.Meri Har Khata Pe Naraz Na Hona,
Apni Pyari Si Muskan Ko Kabhi Na Khona,
Sukun Milta Hai Apki Hasi Dekhkar
Mujhe Maut Bhi Aajaye Tab Bhi Mat Rona?
Never KISS a lady police,
She will say, hands up.
Never KISS a lady doctor,
She will say, Next please
Always KISS a lady teacher,
She will say, repeat it 5 time
Uss k hath mein tootay hoye sheeshay ki tarah hon Faraz?
Itna hi bhout hai k woo bhikarnay nahi deta..
Firte rahe hum abbr main,
Dhundte rahe hum sath apno k,
Koi nahi hai sath mera,
Kisse kaheta tamanna apne dil ka,
Subha hote he ye chand,taare chhod chale jaate,
Tho raat main suraj kirne dena bhul jaate
MILLEY NA TUM KO KOYI GHAM GHAM E HUSSAIN a.s. K BAAD
EID E ZEHRA s.a. B MANAWO GHAM E HOSSAIN a.s. K BAAD
LEY AAYAI KAAT K MUKHTAR a.s. SAR E LAENOUN l.a. K
HAI AAJ RUKH PEY TABASUM GHAM E HOSSEIN a.s. K BAAD
Eid Shuja Mubarak!!
Wafa kisi pe farz to nahai hai....
lekin..
Ho sakay to humara khiyal rakhna....$?
The check is in the mail.)
Submitted by Bonnie P.
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years."
The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well, the head monk replied, I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
Submitted by Bonnie P
There was a man who has two dogs, named 'commonsense' and 'trouble'. He always brought his dogs to the park every evening. One day, he only brought 'trouble' to the park, and left 'commonsense' at home. while the man was so happy playing 'frisbee' with his friends, 'commonsense' disappeared. The man was so sad and panicky. He looked for his dog everywhere but could not find it. A lady realised it and asked the man, "What are you looking for?". The man replied "I'm looking for 'trouble'...". "pardon..", said the lady. The man replied in a higher tone "I am looking for 'TROUBLE'". The lady was annoyed and asked "Where's your COMMONSENSE?". The man whose mind was only about his dogs, answered "At home..."
Submitted by iena. smuc.ac.uk
An architect was very famous because he always ordered exactly enough materials for every building he built. He was very popular because he could build buildings at the lowest possible cost.
After ten years of perfect building, one of his men came to him when they had finished a 40 story building. "I have bad news," the man said "because we have one brick left over!" "Oh no!" the architect exclaimed, "My ten year perfection record is broken!"
Do you know what he did with the brick?
He threw it away!
Submitted by Walter Lowe
When a very tired man got on a crowded bus one afternoon, he could not find an empty seat. A small dog was sitting on one seat, so he asked the lady with the dog to put the dog on her lap. The lady refused and they got into a big argument. Finally, the driver stopped the bus and told the lady to put the dog on her lap.
When the man sat down, he took a pickle out of his pocket and began noisly sucking on it. When the lady told him the sound and smell was irritating, he told her she should have thought about being nice when he had asked her to move the dog. They began another argument and the lady threw the pickle out the window. The man then threw the dog out the window. Just then the bus stopped and the dog got in line to get back on. Guess what the dog had in its mouth?
---The brick!
Submitted by Walter Lowe
A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.
The owner of the restaurant says, "Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don't understand."
The panda says, "Look it up in the dictionary," and walks out the door.
So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading "panda"